Mar 3, 2011

Disaster Date

MTV has a show (go figure because they don't play MUSIC anymore) called Disaster Date.  It's a hidden camera show where someone sets up a friend on a nightmare of a date.  If the victim lasts a full 60 minutes without walking out, they win 60 bucks.  One episode had a young man set up with a chick who was less than forthcoming with her employment.  It eventually came out that she was an "escort" and her boss aka pimp kept calling her to set up appointments.  When she refused the appointments, which no Ho should do, the pimp came to the restaurant and demanded the dude pay $700 for being on a date with his girl.  It was pretty funny and the young man stuck it out, making the $60 bucks.

Reminded me of yet another reason why I really enjoy being married, no more horrible dates.  I did win a radio contest one time for calling in to a morning show on Valentine's Day with the worst date.  I think I won a gift certificate to Outback or Olive Garden.

So here it is, the gift certificate winning disaster date.  Enjoy! 

I was in another state with the military and this guy kept flirting with me.  Eventually, he asked me out and I agreed (he was cute after all).  He had Friday off so the plan was: I would drive into town (about 30 minutes away) after work, meet him at his house, we would go eat and then catch a movie.  He gave me his address, directions, and phone number.  Great!

Friday rolls around and after work, I get all dolled up in my best butt-jeans and super cute shirt.  I follow the directions to his place and find it without any trouble.  That in itself is AMAZING because I constantly get lost.  (This was pre-GPS, wow, I'm really showing my age)  So I park in the driveway and head to the door. 

The house looks nice, not big or fancy but the yard has been mowed recently and the neighborhood isn't ghetto.  The screen door is closed but the front door is partially open and when I knock I hear a yell from inside, "It's open-come on in."  I thought to myself, that sounded really close, no biggie, and when I stepped in,  I realized why.  He's sitting on the couch - Right.Next.To.The.Door. 

Prince Charming was wearing a pair of greasy, torn up sweat pants, a wife beater with food smears, no shoes and no socks.  It was obvious he hadn't shaved that day and didn't bother to get up or anything when I stepped inside.  Taken aback by the scene in front of me, I asked about going out to get some food and he replied by telling me that he had cooked.  Proudly, he told me about making pork chops but then threw in that he had gotten hungry and ate already.  If I wanted some, the left overs were in the microwave and motioning towards the kitchen, told me I could heat them back up.


He further went on to say that he had picked up a movie at Blockbuster (that was already playing on the TV).  About that time, I shook my head and left.  I called a couple of friends, who were thankfully in town as well.  We met up at TGIF for Happy Hour.  Yay - 2 for 1 Margaritas!

Prince Charming quit flirting with me and I went out of my way to ignore his existence for the remainder of my time there.  I found out later that he was married with 2 kids... Can anyone say LOSER? 


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